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“Not today Holly” Gerry cries as he lurches out of the jeep and tears down the drive in an effort to stop Holly fertilising his garden- ( to appreciate Gerry’s sense of urgency in chasing Holly away it should be pointed out that Hollys “organic” activities are , apparently, elephantine in proportion.)
Holly skips lightly to the bottom of Gerry’s driveway and stops to look back at Gerry in the doggy head tilting way which suggests that she thinks this is great fun and wonders if Gerry has also noticed that he is not the only thing now rumbling down the driveway.....
Gerry turns to see his jeep rolling towards him. ( At this point it should be pointed out to those unacquainted with Gerry’s devotion to this seven year old Nissan that Gerry has crashed, lovingly repaired and put up with all manner of insults, derision and jibes about this jeep and has only just taxed it for another twelve months.)
Gerry’s driveway slopes down towards the main road and immediately opposite his driveway is a 12 foot drop further down the Cooley Mountain.
Things now seem to happen very quickly. The jeep door is open. Gerry is trying to reach inside to stop the jeep. The jeep door makes a loud cracking noise as it bends back on itself caught between the two immovable forces of nature, namely gravity and Gerry’s mass. “That sounds expensive” is the last thought that Gerry remembers before he is knocked to the ground and rolls in perfect symmetry with the jeep towards the, small, drop to the bottom of Cooley.
It’s hard to know whether to describe the next development as good fortune. There was certainly luck involved but even a day later I’m still not sure if it was of the good or bad variety.
As Gerry and the jeep roll together, their trajectories intersect...and the jeep rolls over Gerrys foot, twisting him and his Haix Monatana hunting boots mercilessly ....and then stops. The jeep is saved, but at what cost.
At this point as Gerry gingerly gets to his feet, John has still not left the breakfast table. Gerry’s first thought is for his jeep. All ok there. As the adrenaline ebbs away pain replaces it in his shoulder, arm, right foot and back.
John manages to tear himself away from the kitchen to take Gerry to hospital. The doctors marvel at the fact that his leg , or at least his foot is not broken and that , other than his battered pride, there doesn’t appear to be a scratch on him. He will be in pain but nothing life threatening.
And then he calls me to let me know what has happened. And, this is the mark of the man, his first concern is that he won’t be in until the afternoon! I tell him not to be silly, take the day off, I’ll simply take it out of his wages...only joking. But then, and this may be due to strong pain killing medication induced giddiness, he excitedly tells me about how great the boots were, how they protected him, how the Snickers gloves stopped him tearing tendons, how his CAT jacket protected him on the ground...until I had to shout “Stop !”. “But Paul, you don’t realise, the whole jeep rolled over my ankles and there’s hardly a scratch on the boots !”
“That’ll do, Gerry, that’ll do.”
Today Gerry is milking it a bit and isn’t in. John has had a full uninterrupted breakfast. And Holly ?
Well I like to think that Holly , as normal, did what she does best this morning in Gerry’s garden and is now happily chasing squirrels around the foothills of the Cooley mountains.
Today we will offer a pair of potentially lifesaving Haix Montana boots as a prize to the best answer to our questions:
1.What price are the lifesaving Haix Montana hunting boots on Brix ?
2.Should Gerry keep the jeep, learn to love Holly and appreciate life , or do you have another suggestion for him ?
Answers by email or as a comment on the blog.
That’s it for today.
Cheers,
Paul
P.S. Today I'm listening to Lee Marvin singing the classic "Wandering Star" and dedicating it to Holly !